Can’t live with ’em, can’t live without ‘e–a slippery slope to an unhealthy relationship

My son’s friend recently broke up with his long term girlfriend.  Not an unusual event for some his age (20),whatever a long term girl friend means. What caught my attention was my son’s comment that his personality had changed. “Why was that?” I asked. “He feels he has to have a girlfriend or he’s not all right as a person,” was my son’s reply.  How many people much older than my son or his friend have that point of view?  How much freedom does that allow you?  Hanging around with people who have that point of view can easily invite yourself into a stalker situation if you do cut your ties with the person.  That can be a chilling thought….. Even if it doesn’t go into stalker-dom, how can a healthy relationship ever develop from this point of view? Can anyone come from anything but a sense of desperation if they feel they HAVE to have a partner to be complete? This leads to one of my 6 Don’ts to have a relationship that’s easy and fun–don’t give up yourself!  It’s a thankless job, for one thing.  You start by giving away some little part of yourself to keep the other person happy, but then that’s never enough.  You keep trying to make it work (another dead end path) by giving more and more of yourself away.  Then what’s left?  Nothing is left of the person they were attracted to in the first place, and you don’t have you either!  And if you break up and there’s nothing of you left, then the very thing you feared–the loss of yourself–has happened through your own creation.  What a lose-lose proposition. It IS possible to get out of these obsessive relationships. Here’s a testimonial with a woman who was “cured” of one during an evening’s conversation over dinner. Click here to play video… You can learn more about my approach to relationships by participating in any of the teleclasses offered on this site:  if this post interests you, you might wish to start with 6 Do’s and 6 Don’ts to Create a Relationship that’s Easy and Fun.  The Relationship Bootcamp–perhaps the deepest most clarifying call I have done yet–has just completed and is also available.

About Kacie Crisp

Dr. Kacie Crisp has been involved in facilitating others’ lives and bodies for her entire working life. As a therapist with emotionally disturbed children, chiropractor in the US and Findhorn spiritual community, and now as a licensed facilitator of Access Consciousness, her great joy is to watch clients expand their lives.

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