I didn’t make this up, it showed up on one of my twitter feeds. The universe definitely gives me plenty of interesting points of view to blog about. How did I get so lucky?
One of the things I talk about in my classes is how we all seem to have this movie version of what a relationship should be. For how many people does that work? One expert has estimated that only 1 out of 10,000 couples have a relationship worth having. Wow! What else is possible?
Whe we buy the movie version without looking at what we really want, how much do we limit our options? The only outcome we can imagine is to ride off into the sunset towards the white picket fence and 2.2 kids. What else is possible? And how much do we make ourselves wrong for not even truly desiring the movie version?
“Personally I don’t wanna see you everyday,” was the next line in the tweet I quoted. Right on! At least this person is being more honest with herself than most people which allows her a greater chance of getting what she really would like.
Do you really wish to share your life with someone 24/7? Even if he snores? farts deadly ones? is addicted to the World Cup/World Series/all football? How do you feel when you are together? Are you glad he/she’s there, or do you crave a little space? Do you find yourself creating upsets just to have that space? (Is that what happens when a tornado meets a volcano? is what another of the tweets I received recently asked.)
What if you could have a totally successful relationship (totally successful because both of you get what you really would like) that included: not living together, living in another city, seeing him/her only for events that were fun for you to do together, being gay or bi, or, most radical of all, HAVING NO RELATIONSHIP AT ALL?
What if all of these choices were okay, none of them were wrong, and neither were you wrong for choosing any of them? What if nothing you’d done in any relationship up til now was wrong–but just something required to show you what you now know, so you could make other choices?
If this interests you you might like to sign up for my newsletter which will include not one but TWO downloads of free classes you can listen to at home that go into way more detail about my tools you can use to create a relationship that works for you. Yes, the URL is howtostaymarriedandhappy.com, but it’s really about being happily married to YOURSELF! What are the infinite possibilities?