My friend Gary, who’s worked with hundreds if not thousands of couples around the world, has been telling me for years that my husband David and I should be teaching others how to have what we have–ie a relationship which works for both of us, and incidentally has produced an amazing, talented, independent and well adjusted 19 year old son. I was not easily convinced.
First of all, the last thing I wanted was for our relationship to be painted as something static and ideal, which I knew would kill it. I was and am more interested in having a relationship that’s fun for me and David than I am in having one that looks good to anyone else.
Second, how do you teach anyone to DO something that you ARE?
Asking us to explain or even describe what we do is kind of like asking a fish to demonstrate the properties of water. So I ignored Gary’s suggestion. For about 8 years.
Then some other events conspired to make us look again, and to make a long story short, we are now making a different choice. We’ve started looking at what’s happening out there with relationships and noticing how few are happy or even relatively functional for both parties.
We recently announced an introductory telecall on facebook, in which we shared for an hour some of the things we recommend and don’t recommend.
We called it 6 Do’s and 6 Don’ts for a Relationship that You’ll Enjoy for 25 years.
Almost instantly 91 people signed up.
Wow! That’s a lot of pain, for people to carve out the time and the long distance phone call to listen to some people they never met and probably never heard of before talking about relationships.
We’re starting to get it. There’s a lot of pain out there!
What can we do to assist? I would love to hear from you!
What would you find most helpful to assist and empower you in changing the relationship you have to one that’s more satisfying, or creating one that’s better than those you’ve had before?