“Hello, what’s up?” my friend with the deep sexy voice answered his cell phone for the thousandth time that day.
The woman on the line started in with her story.
My friend listened.
He wasn’t connecting with any of her story.
“Who did you think you were calling?” he finally asked.
“Larry,” was the answer. Not being Larry, my friend informed his caller she had a wrong number.
As he hung up, he commented, “But what if she had been the one? Now I’ve lost her forever.”
How many other people are living in this space? “Where is THE ONE for me?”What if I miss him or her?” “Am I doomed to singlehood forever if I miss that one fateful opportunity to meet him or her?”
The funny thing about my friend is that he is twice-divorced and emphatically NOT looking for the one, any one. In fact, he comments, “What if we were looking for 1001 instead?”
Do you see how that changes the energy of the search totally? If you’re looking for THE ONE then you have to be living in a constant state of evaluation and judgment to be on guard to identify THE ONE when they show up, and guard against any imposters that might distract you from recognizing him/her when they do show up.
If you were looking for any one of 100s or 1000s of people, wouldn’t that take the pressure off? Doesn’t that feel a lot lighter and more do-able?
That change is what I would call taking the significance off of meeting someone. Significance is what occurs when we making something or anything greater than us? Hint: yes, most people put tremendous significance on whether they and everyone else is in a relationship or not. If they’re not, they’re so often branded as losers by most people.
The catch-22 is that whenever we make anything significant, it becomes an area of our life that keeps us stuck forever. We can’t ever get free of this very area that we have made so important. Things that people commonly make significant are whether they’re in relationship, but also all kinds of other things like how much money they have and whether they have as much as they’d like, what kind of car/house/neighborhood they live in, how many children they have and how perfectly those children are performing.
What if our awareness and our potency were actually greater than any problem that confronts us? What if our awareness and potency were greater even than the problem of being one of those aberrant creatures that is not currently “seeing someone” or otherwise presenting themselves to the world as part of a twosome? This is actually the truth.
Doesn’t it feel lighter? That’s a clue! Anything that makes you feel lighter is true for you, and anything that feels heavy to you is a lie. It’s a law of the universe.
My friend–the one who hung up on “the one”–is a champion of the non-significance of sex, period. He has often commented that if we put no more significance on the act of copulation, if it were just an activity we chose to do or not do, like going to the park to play frisbee or shaking hands, then we would truly be free. Wow! What would that look like?
Stay tuned for more thoughts on this!