Sometimes I can amaze myself with my own slowness.
I would say I’m fairly clear on emotional blackmail–I’m doing a class on it. Emotional blackmail is when others use their upset to control you. The fix for it is totally disinterest and unwillingness to play that game.
As in, “You say you’re going to kill yourself if I don’t change this? Here–here’s a gun!” If your emotions are not controlled by their histrionics, you can be free.
There is a subtler form that I’m struggling with at the moment, which is the lump in my gut that other people’s upset can cause in me when they’re displeased with me. In the cases I’m thinking of at the moment, it’s the judgments of me that the people involved have that are causing the upsets. But boy, does it ever still feel like shit!
What’s right about this I’m not getting? Their points of view are just interesting points of view, I keep telling myself. It’s not important, definitely not important enough to tie my stomach in knots–interesting point of view, interesting point of view, interesting point of view, interesting point of view.
What am I perceiving here that I’m not acknowledging? Don’t have an answer for you. I will keep asking questions and see what comes up. Stay tuned.
And if you’d like to hear what I do know about emotional blackmail, that class is still going with three lives classes left, the next one being Tuesday, March 29 at noon California time.